Listening to Understand
How to stop interrupting and actually listen
Catch the habit that stops you hearing people, and what to do with your turn instead.
How to do it
Bad listening is rarely rudeness. It's one of three habits: drafting your reply, filtering for what you expected, or finishing their sentence. Catch yours and the whole conversation changes.
Rehearsing
Building your answer, not hearing theirs.
Filtering
Only catching what fits your view.
Finishing
Closing their sentence for them.
What it sounds like
Report
“I've been thinking about the project and I've got some concerns, it's not that I don't want to do it, but...”
You
“Sounds like something's sitting with you. I'm not going anywhere. What's the part that's actually bugging you?”
Practise it
Casey Lin, direct report
“It's not that the plan's bad, it's just... there's a piece that feels off and I can't quite name it.”
Do not solve or reassure. Show you heard them and draw out the piece they haven't named.
A strong answer: “A piece that feels off, okay. I'd rather hear it half-formed than not at all. What's nagging you about it?”
Free in your browser. Speak for 60 seconds and get feedback.
The short version
Rehearsing, filtering, finishing. Catch your habit and you hear the real thing.
Practise it every day
This is one lesson from the Listening to Understand course in the Insight7 app, with a roleplay to rehearse the real conversation.