Speaking With Empathy
How to acknowledge someone before you respond
Say back what you heard before you add your own view, so they can hear yours.
Why it matters
People stop listening the second they feel unheard, no matter how right you are. When you answer before you acknowledge, your best point lands as a correction, and they brace instead of open up.
How to do it
Say back what you heard, then respond.
Before you offer your view, reflect their point in one plain line so they know it landed. Only after that do you add yours, and now they can actually take it in.
What it sounds like
Teammate
“I found out we changed the roadmap from a Slack message. Nobody even asked me.”
You
“So you got blindsided by a change on your own project, and that stung. Let me tell you what happened, and then I want your read on it.”
Practise it
Miriam Vance, direct report
“I put three weeks into that feature and it just got pulled. Was any of that even worth it?”
Acknowledge what she's feeling in one line before you explain anything. Reflect first, respond second.
A strong answer: “Three weeks of your work, gone in one call, and no one walked you through it. That's rough. Here's what drove the decision, and where your work still lives.”
Free in your browser. Speak for 60 seconds and get feedback.
The short version
Acknowledge first. People take your view once they know theirs landed.
Practise it every day
This is one lesson from the Speaking With Empathy course in the Insight7 app, with a roleplay to rehearse the real conversation.