Speaking With Empathy
How to support someone without trying to fix it
Be with someone in a hard moment instead of rushing them out of it.
Why it matters
Jumping to advice tells them their feeling is a problem to close, so they shut it back down. Holding space tells them the feeling is allowed, and that's usually the only thing they came for.
What it sounds like
Same moment, two instincts. One rushes them out of the feeling, the other sits in it with them. Resist the fix.
The rush to fix
“Okay, here's what you do: talk to HR, document everything, and honestly you should just set a meeting with him Monday.”
Holding space
“That sounds genuinely hard, and I'm not surprised it's sitting with you. I'm here. Do you want to talk it through, or just have someone hear it?”
Practise it
Priyanka Rao, colleague
“Honestly I'm drowning right now. Every day I fall further behind and I can't see a way out.”
Hold space. Acknowledge the weight, offer presence, and ask before you advise. Don't hand her a plan.
A strong answer: “That sounds exhausting, and it makes sense you feel underwater. I'm here for as long as you need. Do you want help untangling it, or just to get it off your chest?”
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The short version
Don't rush the fix. Being with someone in it is often the whole help.
Practise it every day
This is one lesson from the Speaking With Empathy course in the Insight7 app, with a roleplay to rehearse the real conversation.